A Journey of Intentional Love
More than three years ago, the Lord asked me to trust Him with the biggest risk of my life. He told me to follow Him and to trust Him to show up to provide. Before accepting the challenge, I wept night and day as I was abused with fears and dread of what could go wrong. Eventually, I chose to follow His leading and I grabbed hold of His hand. With a little blessing of money that God had given to me, I took all the money that I had in the world and I reserved a hotel room for me and my children for 5 days.
Only 5 days and the rest was in the hands of God. All I had to hold onto was my hope that He would show up and a promise that He gave to support my little family. After those 5 days, the provision of promise became like a never-ending basket of bread that would multiply just in time. Always enough and never too late, God would show up as the manifestation of comfort for all of our needs.
This has gone on consistently for all of this time and God has continued to hold up our family through the comfort of His presence and the donations of His help through people whose hearts He has called. Through this journey, I have grown closer to living as a believer…and not just saying that I am.
For every fear that we overcome, there is a double manifestation of comfort from His love. I had been through so much trauma, that I was in desperate need of heart healing. Jesus held me close to feel His heartbeat and it was in the wilderness of unsurvivable conditions that He began to show me the intentionalities of His love. He wrapped me in His love and began to heal me from the neglect.
However, the healing came from an environment that one would not suspect. Before we left for the journey, the Lord gave me a promise to be my Source of abundant provision, the Wellspring of refreshment in the desert. He brought me to a place that looked unsurvivable by man’s logic to be the manifestation of all of my needs.
But once she has nothing, I’ll be able to get through to her. I’ll entice her and lead her out into the wilderness where we can be alone, and I’ll speak right to her heart and try to win her back. And then I’ll give her back her vineyards; I’ll turn the valley of Achor, that “Valley of Trouble,” into a gateway of hope. Hosea 2:14-15
The more I was afflicted by the appearance of fear, the more His love would manifest with the opposite outcome. While He carried me, I eventually learned that He was dependable and safe. Many nights during that desert place, I would hold a stuffed bear in my arms and pray for Jesus to show up to save us with money to survive. I was so desperate for comfort and so very afraid.
There were times when He would allow pressures to come, but those pressures were for healing. Like a deep tissue massage, the deep pressure was used to draw out the deep hidden fears and doubts. The Father knew what I needed to be able to trust Him and my need for healing was severe.
The appearance of devastation is an invitation for manifesting comfort. I learned through the hardship, that God’s plans were always good. He never allowed my fears to happen. If I never knew the affliction, then I would never know the need for a Comforter. That is what Jesus has been for me through this. He has manifested to be the Comfort of every need.
Without the night, the stars would lose their brilliance. Without the sand, the sea glass would not know the beauty that followed being an outcast. Or like Charles Spurgeon once said, “those who dive into the sea of affliction bring up rare pearls”. Jesus knows what each individual person needs in order to know His closeness through experience and gained trust.
His deep love will meet us in those moments of need to bandage up the pain and torment caused by fear. Sometimes the best way to experience His love and kindness is by being in a difficult environment. It is through that dependency, that His comfort manifests to be our Ever-Present Help. He is the Life Water when trapped in a desert place. He is the love that floods the fear away. Miracles bloom past the opposition of adversity.
Every single love letter from this blog has been written through deep encounters of the Lord’s kindness and love in a time of desperation and trust. All of these letters have been formulated from His love meeting me in a place of surrendering my worries and fears to Him. Following each surrender, a love letter of His intentional love was given to comfort and calm my anxious thoughts. After each love letter, there have been countless encounters of seeing those words become tangible before our eyes. Many of these experiences I have written about in the “Faith Walk” posts.
These letters are His personal promises for all of us and when mingled with faith, they will be fulfilled. The Lord has given me a personal promise that all of the pain that I have suffered would be recycled into a blessing of beauty for many. My prayer is that there will be kind-hearted people who would help us financially to continue our journey in sharing this very unique story. I have also prayed that every gift to this ministry would be multiplied back in abundance, pressed down, and running over to be an even bigger blessing for those who have given.