Roots

 

 

I thought that I should explain why I am using a different name now. I went to court yesterday and my divorce was completed. The judge asked me if I wanted to keep the name I had and after some prayer, I decided to go back to my maiden name. 

 

I really had to think about it first, because I knew I didn’t want my ex-married name because, for me personally, it was like staying in a place where I didn’t belong and was no longer wanted. 

 

At the same time, I wasn’t sure I wanted my maiden name either, because of all of the hurt and betrayal that I suffered from that life. I thought about changing my last name to something completely off the wall, something beautifully symbolic and unique to me alone. 

 

However, because of what God showed me about what He wanted to do with my maiden name, I decided to go full force into that name from now on. I also like the way it represents a new beginning and restoring the days of pain. It is like getting a second chance to do things differently. 

 

It is like when Joseph named his baby Ephraim and said, “because God has blessed me in the place of my suffering”. Like Cinderella, sometimes the place of our deepest hurt can be the place where the most beautiful blessings are found.

 

In the movie Cinderella, Ella, became famous for her cinders being replaced with beauty. She took the “Cinder” part with her name and allowed it to be made into radiance and honor. 

 

So moving forward, I will be going as Dannette Ward and somehow I am going to own it and allow God to make it wonderful. 🙂

 

I am also preparing a new love letter and is all about hope, trust, and letting go. Before I was in this present moment, God gave me a vision of crossing over a high bridge that was in the midst of bitter-cold warfare. 

 

I remember being so shocked because the bridge went upwards and at the highest point, there was a dead drop down to a very far bottom. It was completely dark all the way down because you couldn’t see what was happening. 

 

I remember thinking to myself that there is no way we could survive this or stay on this bridge. But then I somehow got the end of it and came out. It was surprising that the car didn’t fly off into the water or that we lived through that experience. 

 

Now I am currently moving up that bridge and I have been able to see the impossible-looking burdens ahead of me. In the months prior, I could see how God would show up to cover our rent because He would show me little clues of what was coming. 

 

At this time, I cannot see how it will be possible, let alone to be able to cover Christmas. It hurts too and my eyes flood with tears when I even think about it because my kids put up this tree that they love. 

 

They are more attached to staying this month and having our first real Christmas, more than any month before. This one is extra special.

 

I have been trying not to look down with fear or panic, but it is hard to not look down when you are falling. 

 

The only way I can survive this month is for Jesus to save me or send someone to help. There is no other way, other than a love rescue and a miracle. That is a very scary place to be. 

 

I am hoping that this bridge represents crossing over into an easier and better land. Maybe even the new name is a sign of that. I really hope so! 

 

In the presence of all of these changes happening, it has challenged the core of my faith. I have had to tell myself that even though things are different, that God’s promises to us are still the same. 

 

I have felt like a tree, reaching my roots deep into what He spoke and clinging to His words in order to draw out the water and rise up higher. This really feels like an identity test above all else. 

 

I feel like God is testing my roots to see if His words have remained in me. Yesterday  I was crying because I didn’t know what I was going to do for this month and getting a new name made everything seem so different. 

 

I prayed with all of my heart to God and I said, “even though everything has changed, I am counting on your promises to me to remain forever”.  Love always remains and unlike some people, God does not take back His gifts or change His loyalty.

 

I have to remember that God is always faithful, unlike some people who break a promise and take back their vows. God’s vows are endless and His love will never fail us. 

 

Unlike some people, God is consistent and loyal in every season, no matter what. I am holding onto His promises now more than I have ever held them before.

 

I am reaching my thoughts like roots to tell myself that God has never dropped us and He won’t drop us now. May it be unto me and you– just as He promised. ♡

 

 

 

Love you bunches,

 

 

Dannette Ward

 

 

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