Once again, I am back to a place of needing to be rescued. He showed me before I even entered this extremely difficult season, that I would be taking spiritual classes from Him about being rescued.
In only 3 days, I need to pay to stay or pay to go, because our paid time is ending. As it “looks” at this moment, I cannot do either, but that has never stopped God from showing up with the unexpected. Just like before, I cannot see anything coming and it is a terrifying place to be. I have to constantly resist the thoughts of the worst outcome, that alone, is a huge exercise of my faith.
God keeps reassuring me that He will send a love rescue, but that does not stop the pain that I feel from going through this kind of intensity. I was walking down the hall yesterday and I could hear a song playing and without a doubt, it was playing just for me. It was from the Footloose soundtrack, “I need a Hero”.
Last night, I was like a baby, trying to calm and comfort myself from the fear that was beating on my chest. I found comfort in remembering how faithful that God has been through all of this.
He has always told me where to go before we needed to leave. He led me to very, very specific places that we have been at along this journey. He also would give me promises to cling to, when the ride was about to get shaky.
I even have one right now, regarding a projected relief in the future. There have been many times during this situation when I cried to God to stop making me walk through the season of rescues.
Don’t get me wrong, I am so thankful for His love rescue. In fact, if He did not rescue us, I cannot even imagine how horrible our lives would turn out. We would be homeless and on the street with no way to rest or wash the dirt off of our bodies.
At the same time, being the princess waiting for her Prince can be hectic. The damsel in distress goes through the times of experiencing the elevated pressure and intensity of the situation rising before the Hero breaks through with the loving rescue.
I can always feel when the breakthrough is close because that is when the pain of enduring the situation becomes almost unbearable. It is usually at the moment when I can no longer hold my head up and I break down into tears, that Jesus shows up to alleviate my sorrows with His ever-present comfort and relief.
I sometimes would get angry and I would cry out to God, “why do I have to go through the anguish of this trial?”. I was beside myself with grief, wondering why I had to endure so much hardship before the relief?
But then the Lord started to show me that He was building history with me, so that my confidence and trust in Him would be lifted up. Because of all of the times that He has saved us, when it didn’t look possible, I have had something to look back on and remember His faithfulness.
Last night, I reminded myself of all of the times that He foretold what would happen (a prophesy of good news) and then it did. I recalled all of the times that He stepped in right at the last minute, to save us from crashing down into our fears.
Even though it sucks to walk through, the trials are necessary, because they add to our experience of encountering God’s love in action. They help us to build a strong relationship with the all-present God who is attentive to every detail of our lives.
I totally dislike going through the times of being pressed with needing a miracle and those desperate feeling situations that could mean death or life. But, I am thankful that they all happened, because now I have my own personal book or remembrance to help me calm my worries and trust Jesus better.
I am trying very hard right now not to panic and to believe that something wonderful is going to happen. I keep rehearsing what God promised me over and over in my head, to keep away the wolves of fear that are hungry to attack me.
This too shall pass and when it does, I will have another page to add to this book of History with God. The same goes for you. Even though some things are absolutely awful to walk through, there is a purpose in it. Through every moment of hardship, you will encounter God’s love and you will be able to see how personally devoted He is to you.
The storms do not last forever and neither will these difficult moments that we endure before we experience the saving arm of God. He is our Ever-present Hero and I just have to believe that He will keep saving me again and again and again. Because His love is forever and His promises will never end.
I pray that God will burst through with good news for you today and that you would see the goodness of God in the midst of whatever difficulty that you are walking in. God bless you always and may you experience His intentional love in ways that take your breath away with relief and comfort. 🙏
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