God always talks to me about “flying” as a way to stay above the terrifying circumstances by being focused on faith. He likes to show me Dumbo and how Dumbo was so mesmerized by getting the feather in front of him, that He would miraculously lift off of the ground and leave everyone who saw it in sheer wonder and excitement.
Seeing an elephant fly just isn’t possible and yet Dumbo managed to soar above the low things of earth as he chased after that feather that He loved (in the newer version of the movie).
The thing that got really scary was that Dumbo did not have the safety net that he had during practice and the situation became life-threatening for him. If Dumbo would have failed at flying or became unable to keep himself up, his life would have been over. Even if he did survive, it would have left him very injured and devastated with pain.
The past few days the Lord has been talking to me about flying and today he took away my “safety net”. All of the backup plans that I was going to use if we didn’t get enough money to pay for our room were blocked off and now I have no choice but to follow this impossible-looking path. Even though God has been giving me signs and telling me that He wants to keep us where we are at, it will be like an elephant flying for that to happen.
As I look at how it could even be done, I am unable to even see a flicker of hope. Yet God said that something would show up and that I need to follow His path. That is really scary for me because, like Dumbo, if He drops us, the devastation would be unbearable.
I was sitting here trying to remember His promises and encourage myself to not be afraid. Then I remembered how things happened the first time that God asked us to “fly” into His words.
It was just after my mother had given me a 2 weeks notice to move out and I had nothing. I had no money, no one to help me, and nowhere to go. I was in a state that was not my own, so I had no connections whatsoever. But then, when I was dreaming at night, God spoke to me about going to Gainesville.
I had never even been to Gainesville before. But, like Dumbo without a safety net, my only way to survive was to trust in God. So I started to look into hotels in Gainesville and I found a room at the Super 8. I only had enough for 5 days, but like the unending basket of bread, God kept showing up with more.
After about a month at the Super 8, the Lord took us to a super comfortable place for over a month, before He took us to the other side of the country. He never failed to keep His promise to be our Home and our support. He said that this blog was going to be our income and so I have held that promise, every time that I feel too embarrassed to share our giving links on here.
I think back to those times and I cry because God has taken us all of this way and yet I am still so afraid of falling. With only a word from God to go to Gainesville, I took the biggest leap of faith and then hoped like crazy that God wouldn’t drop us. All of my focus at that time was following the voice of God, like Dumbo following the feather.
And here I am today. God is telling me where to go next, and I have no other choice but to follow Him and trust that He won’t let us fall. I have no clue where the support to stay here will come from—I cannot even wrap my mind around it.
I am back to this place of having no safety net and no other place to go–other than the path that God is leading. Sometimes I think we just have to put aside all of the distractions and give Him that undivided focus of following His path, even if it looks hopeless or impossible.
He has always taken care of us and after He took me to Gainesville, then He told me to go to Michigan. I went to Michigan by faith too. It was like a bridge of support would open up under my feet, as I followed in His direction. But if I had made my own way, I am not so sure that it would have been so fruitful.
From place to place, He has kept us safe in His support. He is so faithful to show the next steps and it is comforting to know that He goes before us to make a way. Just like Dumbo being fixated on the feather in order to fly, I need to bring my attention back to Jesus and what He says.
I have been sinking into a panic because the path before me looks impossible and even insane. I just wish I could close my eyes and be over this test of faith. I won’t lie, it’s so hard and sometimes I think I can’t take another moment of this–but I can’t imagine a safer place to be, than in the arms of God.
All He ever said to do was “believe”. Who knew that in order to believe, that I would have to come to the very end of myself, and all of my fears, worries, and doubts. It’s called “die to fly” and it is the ultimate form of worship to God because sometimes believing is the biggest sacrifice there is to give and it means truly trusting God with those that we love the most.
Here we go again…time to fly
Any help is greatly appreciated, more than you know.
For all these things My hand has made,
So all these things came into being
[by and for Me],” declares the Lord.
But to this one I will look [graciously],
To him who is humble and contrite in spirit,
and who [reverently] trembles at
My word and honors My commands.
Isaiah 66:2 Amp