The Distance



Last week I shared with you that it felt like I was back at the beginning of this journey all over again. In the beginning, I had spent every last dime I had on a hotel room for me and my kids for only 5 days. I have felt like a little bird in the hands of God since that time. In the “It’s Better to Jump” blog, I explain a little bit more about that. You can read that here:


I did something similar last week when the Holy Spirit led me to “jump” into a new trust fall with Him. I used all I had and booked only 7 days, having no clue where I would get the rest or what would happen after that. My pockets were not totally empty, because I had giant promises and confirmations of what God planned to do. 


Just like He promised, I was able to renew, very miraculously, through the support He sent on here. I renewed another 7 days, but there was a great test of obedience and faith that I had to cross. I wanted to pocket and hoard away extra money and move someplace cheaper. 


However, the Lord was showing me to stay and to trust Him. He has been healing my soul of generational hoarding (see this post for more info: Healing in the Wilderness. Because He wants me to learn to trust in Him beyond all logic and limited mindsets. 


I started to get overwhelmed yesterday and today because the mountain before me for the weeks ahead, seemed too outrageous and impossible. On top of all of the crazy needs that I saw coming up ahead, my car took a turn for the worse and I found out I needed $800 in repairs that were crucial for me to keep driving. 


It is just like God to use a child to teach a lesson. I was talking to my daughter about our past days and how crazy it used to be. We used to pay only one night at a time because that was all I had. I would pay that one night and then pray all day for money for the next day to come. 


God was always so faithful, but sometimes my trust was stretched beyond what was comfortable. There were times when I would not receive the money I needed for the next day until seconds before having to check out. There were even a few times when we had to check out and sit in the parking lot or lobby until the money that God promised showed up. 


Even though it hurt me so much to face such massive discomforts and fears, I was learning to lean on Jesus as my ever-present help. My daughter told me that I needed to look at the distance that I have come and not the overwhelming mountains that are before me. 


She encouraged me to remember how God has held us in His hands and kept us safe and sheltered. A precious friend just said to me the other day that she remembers when we had nothing, not even a car. She remembered those days when we barely survived and yet….day after day…God made a miracle. 


In the 42nd Psalm, the prophetic singers of Korah’s clan encouraged themselves to remember God’s faithfulness in the past when they were broken and downcast.


That is the best way to fill ourselves with hope, is to remember the distance. Remember the times when God answered our prayers in the past. Remember all of the times when He answered our cries for help. I don’t know about you, but for me, it is too much to count. 


Oh my goodness, I need to stop being forgetful and remember how lovingly the Father has carried us until now. And yet, I am human. I still need help and I am not perfect at trusting. If anything, God chose me for this crazy path, because I am the least likely person to trust anyone, even Him. 


God chose Gideon to be fearless and he was the weakest and most afraid. God chooses our weakness to shine His radiant glory. That is something to celebrate! To the rejected ones–you will be highly respected and honored.


To the poor–you will be blessed with the richness of God Himself. He will personally fill you with great wealth so that you are blessed and a blessing to others. To those who struggle with health—you will be an inspiration of health and wellness—and release healing ministry to others. 


If you ever want to know where your biggest blessing is hidden, look to your need or weakness. It is in that place of your deepest pain and struggle, that God will bless you with more than you can even handle. It will be in that place where you endured pain that you will overflow with goodness and that goodness will spill over to others! 



I hope to share with you soon how the next page of this story turns out. 

Love you always, 



So I speak over my heartbroken soul,
    “Take courage. Remember when you used to be
    right out front leading the procession of praise
    when the great crowd of worshipers
    gathered to go into the presence of the Lord?
    You shouted with joy as the sound of passionate celebration
    filled the air and the joyous multitude of lovers
    honored the feast of the Lord!”
 So then, my soul, why would you be depressed?
    Why would you sink into despair?
    Just keep hoping and waiting on God, your Savior.
    For no matter what, I will still sing with praise,
    for you are my saving grace!

Psalm 42:4-5