I had been sensing that we would have to leave the place that we were at for our protection. The discomfort of the atmosphere was getting thick and then a door opened for us to go. We followed the Lord to a different town and it was bittersweet.
The sweetness was in the beauty of the town (it happens to be my favorite place) and in the comforts that God gave us. For the first time in a very long time, God has blessed me to sleep on a real bed in the new room.
The bitter part was realizing that I was in the same town as the pit that I was pushed into about 7 years ago. It was a very cruel witchcraft attack against my identity that ended up being a wound that transformed me.
I was like a new baby in the prophetic and the Lord spoke to me in magnificent encounters to jump-start His ministry in me. I did not have discernment back then about who to open up to. Sadly I opened up to a person that was not safe and that mistake cost me very much, but at the same time was the greatest blessing.
I had shared with that person the things that Father God spoke to me about in the night and she used that precious gift that God gave to me as a brutal attack against me. She was able (through much deceit) to convince a huge group of people in this town to believe that I was a messenger of satan.
The effect of that attack killed me inside. I was so lost and broken, that I started to question who I was entirely and my relationship with God. For nearly 2 years after that attack, I was very quiet and I hid from all people. I cried constantly and I used to beg God to reconcile these people back to me and to vindicate me to show them who I really was.
As time went on, I grew more intimately into knowing the Lord. I became so close to Jesus that I was transformed and I would never again question who I was in Christ, nor would I doubt what He said to me. For at least 2 years, I talked to Jesus as my one, and only as He healed my heartache from the betrayal.
Now that I am back in this town, I can see that I am an entirely new person. I had forgiven all of those “brothers of Joseph” and released my offenses against them a long time ago. Now, I know longer care what they think of me. I have new confidence in who I am and in my relationship with the Lord that I may have never found if it weren’t for being pushed into that pit of rejection.
It was so painful though when it was happening. I remember that the women of the group would stay home from church and keep their kids at home because they were afraid that their kids would “catch demons” from my kids and myself. I remember sitting in that church and I could feel the eyes of everyone there burning into me with hate and criticism.
All I could do was get lost in the moment. I closed my eyes and I imagined it was just me and Jesus. He took my hands and He danced with me and accepted me and my children with so much love. As I was lost in my worship of Jesus, I had hot tears running down my cheeks.
The judgment of that evil religious spirit was all around me, but I was in the secret place of being loved by Jesus. For months after that day of being hated at their church, I would sit in my bathtub and weep uncontrollably. I used to ask Jesus to show them all that I was His and that they were wrong.
Now that we are back in that town, I always wonder how it will be if I see one of them in the store or at the park. I don’t even think they would recognize me. However, the word that God has been speaking to me since coming to this town is “honor”. He said that He is returning me to the place of that wound to trade the shame that they gave me into honor and vindication. “It is sown in dishonor, but it is raised in honor”…
I am excited to see what God will do here. It took so much faith to go because it was out of my comfort zone to do financially. But I have learned that where God guides that He provides and that we are safe and protected in His will.
Often the most painful experiences are what God will use to bless us beyond our own understanding. When those people all were attacking me and saying evil things about me, I was listening to tons of Graham Cooke teachings and I remember the one that I was really gleaning from was about letting God be your defender.
In losing my identity through that attack, I started the process of discovering who I really was. The pit is the birthing place of the palace and as we come back to the beginning, we come back as a blessing to those who once hurt us. 💜
To send a love offering: