Sometimes healing comes unexpectantly. I woke up several days ago with a heart pain that was so extremely familiar and yet it felt like I had never known it before. It was loneliness, but not the kind of loneliness of desiring company or companionship. It was the loneliness of brokenness and I could feel that the loneliness was very deep from childhood.
There were several days that I locked myself in the bathroom and wept, with the most heart-wrenching pain. As I moved through this root of loneliness being pulled out and healed, I could feel the very place where it happened. It was from childhood molestation and I was very young. I remembered exactly how I felt afterward, it was like I was reliving that pain that was buried deep in the dirt all of this time. At the time of the trauma, I was so alone and broken. That incident created a ripple effect of change for my entire childhood and adult life.
After becoming so broken and lonely from that devastating betrayal, I would go outside as a little girl and spend all of my days talking to the trees and the birds. I had been so ravaged by abuse that there was not a single human that I could trust. I was so alone and the pain felt like it broke my heart in half.
And yet, I had this Holy Spirit with me showing me how to use faith to overcome the destruction. I used to sing the birds and hope that they would come and land on my shoulders (they never did lol). I would even give little birthday parties to the trees. From dawn to dusk, I spent all of my time outside getting lost in my imagination.
All week, the Lord was healing this pain and then I was completely crushed when I realized that I had big needs and expenses just ahead, like my weekly room fee and other things that were needed. I felt so weak because I was on the operating table spiritually. I just kept crying and crying. I asked God, “please let things come easy, let there be no faith or effort required”. I felt too weak to rise up with faith to believe for anything.
After I prayed that prayer, the Lord led me outside to inhale some fresh air and take a nice walk. As I was walking, He showed me that the bird feeder that I always passed, had been knocked down and all of the seed was covering all of the ground, making it easy for any creature to reach. Then He pointed out to me these trees that had been bare branches before and now had been in full bloom and covered in little white flowers, representing ‘easy blessings’.
Then the Lord revealed to me that He has answered this request. However, not only is He releasing it for me, but He is releasing it to all of those who are weary from the journey of faith and need rest. Faith requires much exercise and just like physical exercise, there needs to be time for rest and recovery.
We are now in a time of regaining strength, healing from pain, and an effortless retreat of receiving the blessings of all that we need. If you have the deep desire for this prayer for yourself as well, agree right now in your heart and say, “yes Lord”. God bless you all and thank you for sharing with me through this road that we are all walking together. Hugs!
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