It took me all day to surrender to sharing this with you today. Last night the Lord asked me to show you something very real and difficult to share. After my husband left me many years ago, I was completely shattered. I was alone with no way to support my family. During that time of intense pain, I took comfort in food. In only a few months, my entire appearance fell apart faster than my marriage did.
I remember discovering so much hope when reading the story of Hannah. I fell in love with the fact that God wanted to give Hannah what she desperately desired, even though it was not a critical need. I felt like Hannah in the way that I was constantly agitated by the enemy for what I did not have. I remember reaching a breaking point and I fell on my face before the Lord.
Weeping uncontrollably, I created my own vow with the Lord. I asked Him to give me a supernatural weight loss and financial freedom and support. To my surprise, the Lord answered me with an encounter of a lifetime and a promise. He promised me that He would support me and my children and that I would receive a very dramatic weight loss.
The Lord promised that I would lose half of my weight to be a size 3 and that He would restore my aging to before this heartache ever began. Most of the change He showed me would be in a quick time frame. He showed me that the majority would come all at once in a very fast, concentrated time from an encounter with His glory. But before any of that, He walked me through many layers of healing my soul.
He gave me a spiritual revelation that has never been revealed before and He showed me it would be a best selling book when it was time to be released. After receiving such an amazing gift and promise, I went through the most humbling time I have ever known.
He also showed me a spiritual problem that was hindering me from the weight loss and financial abundance. Of course after revealing the problems, He showed me the solution that will be a blessing to me and others who He leads. ❤
For years I hid behind camera filters to disguise how I looked. I felt so ashamed because of how horribly I had changed on the outside. Now I understand that both beauty and healing starts from within.
When I was still with my former husband, this was my size. I was about a 6/8 pant size.
From that size, I exploded into this, a 16/18 pant size:
Now, this is where I am now. A 12/14 pant size.
I have not shown anyone who used to know me what I look like now and I have been hiding. Deep breath…but now the Lord is asking me to open up and swallow my pride. I guess before I can have the Cinderella makeover that He promised, there needs to be something to compare it to.
To be honest, I am tired of hiding. I am tired of being afraid. I just want to take a moment and remember where this all started. Even before my life crumbled to pieces, I made a vow to Jesus as my first love. I was so lost in love with Him that I would weep waterfalls of tears of love just by closing my eyes and picturing His face.
After all of the pain and hardship, He is whispering again this dream that I practically let slip away. I have this book fully written and it has been sitting in secret for 5 years. It was such a precious gift from God and I just can’t believe I could be so forgetful. These years of surviving the desert left my head spinning and I had lost my focus.
In my repenting and turning back to my first love, I am starting with this post to show you who I am without any special camera angles or filters. I stand before you, to show you my weakness so that Christ can be glorified through this miracle and book that He has given me to carry.
He promised me that it would break away the generational chains of so many of my far off family members. Like Joseph, he will use me to help the very people who I have been terrified of ever seeing again.
Thank you for loving me and accepting me. I also apologize for any delay in replying to messages. Sometimes I just need to break away and center myself back into Him. I do love you and I cherish your support, prayers, and encouragement.
With love and blessings,
To send a love gift: