It all started with a whirlwind kind of a week and then everything kept going downhill from there. In the room that I have, I sleep on an airbed, so that the kids can have extra comfort. As it happens every so often, the bed broke and for a week I slept with terrible pain on the floor.
At the same time, I fell into some mud in my life and made a few stupid mistakes. God was trying to teach me some things, but I was instantly assuming it to be negative because I was so focused on shaming myself for the places where I was disappointed in myself.
I was crying and praying to God for days and I lost sight of His unconditional love and the promises that He made. Then the Holy Spirit took me into a teaching encounter in the night. He showed me a little child with arms raised high. He said, “Trust Me like a child. How you come to Me will determine the level of your experience”.
After that He opened up what seemed like hidden scripture (I can’t even put it into words how it happened). But anyways, He showed me how the afflictions were sticking to me because I had wandered out of abiding in His word and in His promises. Then He talked about the scripture in Isaiah 10:27, to say that the yoke is removed by the weight (fat) of the anointing.
Just as He said that scripture, a new scripture appeared from within that one, like a ‘wheel within a wheel’ and He said “nothing is heavier than love”. As we feed ourselves His living promises, we are feeding ourselves with His love! The love that we seek is embedded within His very words of abundant life. That is how we prosper into freedom in soul and body. As we continue to receive His love, we become ‘fat’ and healthy with His love.
There is nothing that separates us from His love and there is no reason to fear if we believe what He has promised. A.W. Tozer has a perfect quote to cause this revelation to flourish. He said,
“We please Him most, not by frantically trying to make ourselves good, but by throwing ourselves into His arms with all our imperfections, and believing that He understands everything and loves us still.” (The Root of the Righteous” by A. W. Tozer).
As the sun started to rise up today the Lord showed me that I was going to go through a little faith testing, which meant walking through the opposite pressures. As I was crying (yes again!) because the needs were piling up and my body was feeling bruised from the unforgiving floor, I heard Jesus singing over my soul, that He died for me.
All of this inspired me to start declaring the Father’s promises of love and blessings. Although this week started out crummy, I am anticipating blessings and a new bed and some much needed provisions. God promised and He is not a man to lie. He loves us as a perfectly loved child and He understands our fragile souls and loves us just the same. It is all about Jesus and the love that He gave, that we would also share in that love and be perfectly understood by our Heavenly Dad. 🙂
O Eternal One, You have explored my heart and know exactly who I am;
You even know the small details like when I take a seat and when I stand up again.
Even when I am far away, You know what I’m thinking.
You observe my wanderings and my sleeping, my waking and my dreaming,
and You know everything I do in more detail than even I know.