Normally I wake up at 7 a.m. every morning so that I can worry about getting our room paid for. For a very long time now, God has consistently showed up before we needed Him to cover our needs. However, today was a day that I planned to sleep in, because my room was taken care of for the morning. Instead of being able to sleep in, I was awake at 5 a.m., flooded with worry about how I will take care of our room tomorrow.
Then the Lord started to speak to me about casting off the weight of those worries. He showed me a big hot air balloon and He spoke to me about releasing the weight of My worries to Him to carry. I honestly think that the deep pressure and stress come from holding onto control of a problem and yet having no power to do anything to change the situation.
I have spent every night this week weeping with worry, to the point of physical weakness and despair. To be desperate with despair is to be hopeless and without faith. Today I am praying for a donation to cover our room for a few nights, to give rest from the worries. I believe in order to see that happen, I need to give Him my worries and lift my eyes back up to His promises.
Before all of this, God gave me several promises about this situation. 1. He said that He would provide our needs through this blog. 2. He said that my bank was full of money from Him and that I could afford to support my family. 3. He said that He would provide our home (room). 4. Finally, He said that no matter what happens, that His love would never fail to protect us and support us.
All I really need to do is trust and believe. But when the time is running low and there is nothing but silence, it can be terrifying. I have to sit patiently and trust that God knows our situation and that His promise will not fail me. Even though at times it feels like we are forgotten, I have to believe by faith that a donation will suddenly show up out of nowhere to care for us.
One thing about letting go of the weight of worries, is that we also have to let go of the times from the past when suffering hurt. Still to this moment, I have been tormented by the worries that we will suffer the way we had to before, when there was no room money and we had to check out for a few hours. At the same time, God has relentlessly promised me that those days of hardship are over.
Like a butterfly, it is important to trust God to bring us into our new, without holding onto the way we were disappointed before. Butterflies actually fly higher than birds, at a level twice as high! With wispy light wings, they can flutter up to 10,000 feet in the sky. In order to go to new levels of seeing our faith materialize into miracles, we need to cast all of our worries to God (including the pain of things that have been done before).
By casting the worries to Him, we are giving Him the pressure and control of the situation. God knows our heart requests and those things that we secretly long for. I think that I need to trust His promises and trust His goodness take care of us. I am going to try to surrender all of those worries and the pain of what has happened before into His care this morning. I am also going to saturate my mind in remembering His promises and how faithful He is with intentional provision.
Maybe today, I will be able to be lifted up to fly with the butterflies. Maybe I will finish this day with a story to share about how He exceeded our hopes and expectations. I am going to close my eyes and imagine by faith that He is taking off those burdens. As the weight and pain are lifted away, I see myself rising up with His joy of victory.
With a miracle of His saving love, I am carefree above every problem. Above the dark clouds and the noise of chaos, I am fluttering like a butterfly in the manifestation of My promise. I pray that for you too today. May every worry and heavy need be lifted up, as you rise into your desired outcome and hopeful expectation.