I have a confession. In the past several blog posts about my faith walk, I deleted the posts from the Facebook page shortly after posting them. I got to a place in my own inner healing, that being vulnerable was painful and subjecting my most hurtful places to the open opinion of others was a struggle for me.
For His own reasons, the Lord has asked me to be very vulnerable and open on this blog. I have an inside joke with the Lord, that these posts are like a Christian “Eminem” theme because I am usually pouring out pain and raw emotions through what I share about my experience.
What makes it even more difficult for me is that I have always been a hidden and closed book. My entire life, I had stayed alone and resisted anyone who tried to come close, because of being molested as a little child. Through this vulnerability, the Lord has been healing me of those traumatic soul wounds, as well as touching others in need of the “realness” of walking by faith and the frustrations that can happen.
The last time that I deleted a faith walk post, the Lord led me to listen to a sermon by T.D. Jakes. In the sermon, Jakes was talking about the agony that Christ endured while hanging on the cross. He explained that Jesus was actually naked and publically humiliated, while his wounds dripped with blood for all to see. At the end of His strength in the most heart-wrenching pain, Jesus prayed for a release from those who hurt him through a prayer of loving forgiveness.
Jesus obeyed the Father to the point of being open and vulnerable. None of His pain was hidden and the Father used that seed of obedience to give Jesus the ultimate seat of glory. Imagine how many since that day have been deeply changed by the Father’s love. So many people have had their hearts washed in love through one man’s willingness to be exposed, even during the most unimaginable pain possible.
One thing that I have noticed is that the posts that have written in tears and anguish have been the very posts that I have had many people confess that the Lord brought His touch of healing through the testimony. Sadly, those posts of vulnerability have been also criticized by the carnal minded who do not understand what it is like to walk through generational healing as a pioneer of grabbing the uncharted territories of reserved blessings.
God never wastes pain, it will always be recycled into something beautiful. I encourage you to share your stories as the Lord leads because that is a powerful way to help people discover love and heal very deep places that are often difficult to reach. Once the Father told me that my testimony was my place of dominance. The ground that we take by sharing our testimonies becomes our land of brimming beauty because we overcome the very thing sent to hurt us.
So my hope is to no longer shrink back in fear of man but to embrace the walk that the Father has called me to do unashamed. He is my everything and I no longer want to resist trusting His plan just because of insecurities and fears. I am choosing to fall back into the arms of His love once again, no matter how difficult it may be. It’s about Jesus and He has very unique ways of reaching those who seem unreachable. Who am I to contend with the Lover of my soul? Thank you for your kindness today. I pray that you are surprised today with manifested comforts of extraordinary blessings!~