I have been walking through Psalm 42, in a place of thirsting desperately. To thirst is to be disturbed in the soul with an urgent need to be filled. This can be all sorts of needs, but for me, it has been according to the financial promise that the Lord has given to us.
I really believe that when God gives us a specific promise, that He will bring us through the opposite circumstance to create a thirst in us. The thirst of desperation is what draws out the promise from within, as Jesus rises up to be the manifested comforts of what we need.
November has been like a financial drought so far for us and the thirst that I have been suffering to be filled has also created a weakness that I have never known before. My daughter even said this morning that if I opened my bank account up right now, I would probably see a tumbleweed blowing through.
It has been a severe struggle to lift up myself up with faith to believe. It has been a month of record weakness. However, in the spirit, the Lord keeps showing me that a high rise of blessings is pouring in to rescue us from the thirst. He has purposely placed us in a place of needing to be rescued…even today.
For the past few days, I have had a position of laying down in prayer and crying my soul into His care. The fight to believe in His promises has been unbearable and seeing anything happen in the natural realm has been nearly empty. I found myself in a place of loathing anguish where I just wanted to give up entirely. I never realized how afflicting it would be to not be able to save myself and I came to a place where there were no more bridges to run to.
Also, I battled with anger because I would have chosen a different path for myself, working tirelessly so that I did not need to be uncomfortable. Sometimes choosing to obey the Lord’s will can be the hardest thing because it is trusting into a place of complete discomfort so that He can emerge as the Comforter. It is a spiritual law that what was sown in weakness is raised in power and that our vulnerability is a place where He shows up with honor.
I need Jesus to rescue me with the manifestation of His promised words for miraculous provisions. I have had no choice but to continue to press myself into His arms and hope in His loving-mercy. In Isaiah 40, the Lord speaks that as the weak look to Him with hope and expectancy, that He will show up through their weakness to be a source of power and help. And in Psalm 42, the writer was drowning in his own tears from the pain of thirsting to be filled.
The answer that the Lord gave to this downcast soul was to look, hope and expect the Lord to show up with a rescue. When we are in a place of suffering thirst for a vehement need to be filled, it is exactly where God wants us, because He is the Savior for our ever-present needs.
As I sit in this wasteland of a sun-scorched ground, thirsting for His help, I am going to hope and expect Jesus to manifest Himself as the filling of our needs. There are times where He asks us to be rescued so that He can demonstrate His intentional love. I am hoping that I will be sharing a testimony very soon of how the Lord rescued us from these troubles as the Hero of love.
Why are you in despair, O my soul?
Why have you become restless and disquieted within me?
Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.