Looking Back




There is a new love letter that I have been working on and as I put together the pieces of the puzzle of what the Lord is speaking, there are a few words that have been a struggle for me to work through. The main focus of this new word is about coming into new levels of higher provision and fulfillment. However, I have not been able to gain forward momentum to the revelation of this word, because I have been looking at the future and the present through the eyes of the past. 


One thing that I have learned while traveling through the levels of manifesting faith is that we cannot obtain bigger things when we are basing every expectation off of what has happened in the past. Living by faith can be tricky too because it can appear as if everything’s the same as it always has been, all while the words that God is saying are actually, 


“I have better here now. Things are different today. Even if you don’t see it with your natural eyes, keep looking with faith and trust in what I am showing you. You must believe it to see it. Don’t worry, you will not be disappointed as before. This time you are going to be amazed!”. 


I have been in a place in the natural that looks like the same suffering that I have already been through, all the while, God has been showing me wealth and double levels of abundance. God has been showing me signs of big provisions that are here and saying “new levels” and yet it is unseen and hidden still. I didn’t even know that I was going to write this, but I was sitting in my room pouring out my tears to God about what I was feeling. 


Honesty, things have seemed just as tight financially as they used to. I have to renew our room payment tomorrow and in the natural, I cannot see where it is coming from, however, I could see the hand of God dancing with the sparrows in the sunlit parking lot. My body has felt so sick and I was sobbing to God that I just could not handle going through that kind of suffering for room money as I used to because I felt so sick. Everything that has been happening in the natural has been completely the opposite of what God is saying for right now. The path that leads to the promise is paved with the opposite in the natural. That is how we walk by faith and not sight.


 Before we can believe for BIG, we have to make room in our minds for God to fill the space with that tangible substance. The words that Holy Spirit has been whispering to me today is “letting go”. There comes a point that we need to forgive and forget the pain of the past (even the suffering of the prior day or past hour) in order to grasp the level of faith to see our best prayers to come into reality. So today, my prayer is to be able to release myself from the memories of suffering financially, so that I can reach the deep waters of the new levels of provision.


Yes, we have toiled and suffered through the night and yet Jesus is saying that if we have faith and trust, our nets will be filled with the heaviness of His riches and fulfillment of promises. May we cast our nets without hesitation into the deep, based not on what we can see or the past experiences, but by His Word. 


Simon then gets his fellow fishermen to help him let down their nets, and to their surprise, the water is bubbling with thrashing fish—a huge school. The strands of their nets start snapping under the weight of the catch” Luke 5:6


Today, Father I pray that you would take these old memories of suffering. I ask you to wash us afresh with a new expectation to see your goodness. May our vision be refreshed to see with our spirit those things that we are hoping for to manifest. May our excitement over your words spill out of our hearts to give us an unafraid faith and bold courage to believe for more than we have ever known. Let our hearts be open to new levels of what you have to impart to us with overflowing joy and expectation. Thank you, Lord, for this refreshing! In Jesus name, amen. 





Much love!






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