This afternoon, I was completely exhausted, so I took a nap to refresh my energy. During my rest, I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit as my Comforter. In the dream, I was upset about my financial needs and I was running out of the hotel front door. The Holy Spirit said to me, “Do you have any place to go?”. Then I started to tell my story to Him and He wrapped a comforting blanket around us as I spilled my memories of having no place to go. His gentle arms were around me, while I explained to Him the pain of what happened. I woke up weeping from so much pain, as I recalled all of the fearful anguish of the story and how desperately I wanted it to finally end forever.
I sensed that the Lord wanted me to release some of these painful memories from the story to not only set me free for a new season but also to encourage someone who may be faced with having no place to go and no one who is there. Before I even started this financial faith living, I was comfortably residing in a home with a husband and 2 kids. I was a stay at home mom who loved all of the little things that came with running a home and cherishing a family.
It was so exciting to me when the fall air fresheners came out and I filled my home with the aromas of a new season. I also loved to decorate my porch with hanging flowers bursting with the colors of spring. Probably my favorite was decorating for the holidays in the winter while looking out my Michigan windows to see the nostalgic wonders of falling snow.
However, those blissful moments faded to grey when my life started to fall apart. The man who vowed to love me had packed up all of his belongings and left me and my kids in a rental house with no way to pay for it so that he could start over with a new family. It was only 2 weeks before rent was due and I found myself in a place of being alone with children and having no place to go. However, the Lord was there with us and He brought us across the country to stay with my mother for a few years.
Once again I found a comfortable life there and I started to pick up the broken pieces of what had been. Then it was like turbulence came and shook the family and my mother no longer wanted us to live with her. She requested that we leave her home and I found myself again in a place of being alone with children and having no place to go. Only this time it was harder because not only did I have no place to go, but I also had no one in the world to help me.
It had to be a gift from God that I gathered up the faith to rent a hotel room for me and my kids, knowing that we had no way to continue to pay for it. I was so scared of what would happen to us. I was so scared of hurting my babies and leaving us on the streets, hungry and homeless. But after the first few days of my hotel rental expiring, I found that God continued to send provisions to me, as a cup that did not run dry.
Just when I thought that we were doomed to become beggars on the road, the Lord became my personal home and comforter. Just like my dream, how the Holy Spirit wrapped a blanket around us, in the midst of my pain…He wrapped us in His protection and comfort during our trauma of having no place to go. It is a miracle that we are not starving on the streets at this time. As I write this story, I am consumed by tears of pain, gratitude, and amazement.
Even now, we still have no place to go, but God has been our faithful Provider for over 2 years. I have had to stand against the opinions of others, in order to follow the plan that Jesus has made for me. I know that when He is ready, He will bring us back to the place of having a home again. When I had no place to go and no one to help me, God was there. Like the lonely woman in the desert with a child to take care of, God became our hidden Source for survival.
I feel so bad that even after encountering the Lord in such an intentionally loving way, that I would ever worry for provisions. Yet in my personal weakness, I have and I do…even today. No matter where you go or what you are going through, there is never a moment that He will leave you alone. His love is an active force of rescue from every trouble. If God can save me in such a way, then you can find comfort in knowing that He will save you too. Thank you for walking with me through these memories and for your loving support on this day too!
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