Faced with Fear




Late in the evening last night, I rode with my daughter to the store. As I was watching out the window, I saw a homeless man asleep in a chair at the bus stop. Next to the man was a pile of bags and I assumed those were his belongings. As I looked at this man with no place to go, my heart was weeping. I remembered all of the many times when I feared that I would be homeless when I didn’t know how to pay the hotel bill. 



There was even one specific hotel that I came so close to being homeless, that I skimmed the surface. We were at the Super 8 and there were homeless people who wandered nearby our hotel. I would always see them sitting by the gas station or grocery store. There was one man who really broke my heart. Whenever I saw him, I felt so much of the Lord’s compassion. There was something very different about this man. He was not one who would look or ask for money, but I often saw him sleeping on the side of the road. 



There were many times when the Holy Spirit would lead me to give him a little money and I remember so clearly the depths of his ocean blue eyes. This man had such a deep soul and whenever I looked into his eyes, I felt as if I was diving into a heart that God loved so deeply. After I would give this man money, I would go back to my hotel room and weep for him. As the tears flowed from my eyes, I would pray for him. I so desperately wanted to help him more and provide him with the comforts of a shelter, but I was hanging by a string of homelessness myself. 



Day after day for over 2 years, I never knew how I was going to pay for our room or get us food to eat. The difference for me was I had a direct promise from God. Before I obeyed God and followed him into this lifestyle for miraculous provision, He promised me 2 things. One was that we would not be homeless on the streets or in a shelter. The other was that God would fill my bank with money from Him. He gave me a dream during that time that was imparted with His promise. 



In the dream, I had a little ministry that I created for nearly nothing, that was represented as a church made of popsicle sticks. Then the Lord showed me that He would send donations into my cheaply made little ministry that would overcome every curse of poverty. The problems that I had to walk through were full of fears of bad things that could happen to us. However, the promises that He made us were full of personal rescue from those very fears. In all of these years of facing the fears of homelessness, God never once gave me over to those fears. 



In fact, I have found that when you lay all of your weight onto a promise from God, that it becomes a lifesaver against all of the odds. This morning when I woke up, I checked my bank accounts and I discovered that they were all empty. I could have easily started to panic over how we would eat or pay for our room, but I remembered that I have a promise that my bank is full of money and in the Kingdom, that promise is the currency. So although in the natural it appears as though I have no money, I have a word from the King of Kings that says that my bank is full of money. 



The promise is the rescue from the problem. The fear that accompanies the problem cannot do anything to me because Jesus has already sent His word to rescue us. I am really thankful that God would lift us out of the depths of darkness that tried to consume us. I praise God that no curse of poverty or sickness can come against us because He has sent His promise to rescue us from those things. Never look at the problem, but always look at the promise because it is as real as you and me and if you will believe despite what you see, the promise will manifest itself to be your Ever-Present help in a time of need. 





With love and gratitude,





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