Yesterday was a little crazy. I ended up helping a friend in need and we spent nearly 10 hours in a vehicle traveling. We finally returned to our room in the evening and I felt very frustrated because I did not get to spend much time with God in prayer or soaking in His words. The pressure was also building within because I still did not have the funds that I needed to cover the room for the morning. However, all day, the Holy Spirit was speaking to me through many signs about His promise of provision.
By the time nightfall came, I was too exhausted to worry and I just went to bed. The next morning I awoke with the realization that I still needed to cover our room. As time ticked on, I went to my favorite little place to pray and talk to God. He was gently reminding me to remember His vows to provide for us in this unusual situation that He has taken us through. I was already feeling down because I had not been faithful to God. I was full of worry and doubt, instead of fully believing in His promises to take care of us.
By this point, I did not know what to do. I had tears falling off my face and I just kept telling myself that God would not fail me and that He was faithful. As I was reminding myself of all of His personal promises to me, I imagined that I was pressing the weight of my world onto His shoulders. Honestly, I wanted so much to go down into that dreadful place of depression, but I chose to elevate His vows to me over what I was feeling.
However, it was almost checkout time and it felt like the whole world stopped moving. There was nothing happening and I started to wonder, “was God really faithful? Did He forget what He promised me? Can I trust Him with my children and their fragile emotions?”. I came to grips with the fact that my time was just about over and I started to pack up the room. As I was pouring out all of our waters and milk into the sink, I felt like I was pouring out all of my faith down the drain. I had nothing left. All of my hopes had vanished and at that moment I decided to believe that God was not faithful to His promise to me.
It was a couple of minutes past check out time and just when I was loading up the luggage cart, my oldest daughter reached out her hand to me with the exact amount of money that I was needing. She said that she had been praying about it for hours and that God told her to let it go to me. This was a huge deal to her because that money was very sacred to her for something that was desperately important in her life. I didn’t even know that she had anything. Yet God, in His pure and unwavering faithfulness, had planned ahead.
It was 2 years ago that Jesus asked me to step out onto the water and follow Him into this lifestyle of water walking through miracles for supernatural provision. In all of that time, there has not been one day that He has not been faithful to do everything that He has said. Even when I was drowning in bad choices and unfaithfulness, His love to provide for us and protect us has been solid and unbreakable.
The answer is Yes. He was faithful yet again. I hope that someday I can get myself to truly trust Him enough to never worry or doubt again. If anything, He has chosen me, as the least of these, to show just how wonderfully faithful that He is. His promises have never failed, even in the most unsurvivable conditions. Thank you for walking with me today, I cherish your friendship and love.