I sat down to write the next letter with pools of tears in my eyes. I have been getting such a beautiful love letter from Him about faith and blessings. But much like how a wave goes low before it goes high, yesterday was one of the lowest days ever. Before I started out my day, God had given me a promise through a vision of a donation coming in to cover our food needs. So right away yesterday morning, I had faith to trust that God had gone before me.
As the day went on, nothing that I was hoping for had happened. The vision went empty and the time came when I usually bought dinner. By that point, my faith dropped off into nothing and I allowed myself to let go of my anchor of trust in God to keep His promise. Out of self desperation, I went to Walmart and used the kiosk there to sell my phone, so that I could buy my children dinner. By that point, I had completely lost all hope and had given up on God to be faithful.
I barely made anything off my phone, but I was able to get a few things. As I was leaving the parking lot, I gave my very last dollar to a homeless man. The rest of the night my heart was broken. I went outside to the back of the building to meet with God and I just cried and cried. I asked Him if He even cared anymore and I felt totally deserted by Him.
Not too long after that, I received a donation and thankfully He was faithful to cover this mornings room. And I sit here looking at this message that He wants me to write, my only hope is that faith will rise up within me. My prayer is that from this low place that I have walked through, that His love would raise up high as a crashing wave of relief to make this message even more beautiful than I realize.
The Lord is telling me to focus on my blessings of promise and not my problems. There are more instructions that He is giving me through the message and I am expecting a faith impartation to be released through the next love letter. For there is always a reason to go low if only to experience going high. One day the Lord spoke through my daughter and said: “you will never know your highest mountains until you have discovered the lowest oceans”. The truth is, it is the bitterness of the attack that makes the sweetness of His love so much sweeter.
Every wave that has crashed against me has only pressed my heart closer into His. If I come out of this experience with anything at all, my hope is that I will encounter more intentional moments of His love through it. Thank you for reading about my day of being below, hopefully, soon I will share with you all about the promised overflow. May His glory be shown through my weakness as I create the next love letter with Jesus.
To send a blessing: