For the past couple of weeks, it has felt like the whole world was against us. There were numerous attacks happening in many areas, but most of all financial. The anxieties of trying to trust God to handle all of these needs and burdens was getting too overwhelming to handle. My brain was swimming, trying to remember which problems that I handed to God and trying not to worry and take them back.
I found myself walking for hours, just to breathe through the panic of what could happen to us. Even though I had a dedicated promise of provision, my faith was failing from the waves crashing in. I thought about all of the worries that I had about supporting my little family and how I needed a better way to manage the stress. So I came up with an experiment that I called “the exchange”.
The only way to breathe through all of the needs that were piling up was to let them go and give them to God. Letting go is one thing, but not taking back those problems to worry about them is the hardest part. In my experiment of the exchange, anytime that I had a fear, need or problem, I would write it down. This book has become my miracle journal with God. After I write it down, then, I release those fears to God and ask Him to take care of them.
As I wrote all of the many needs and problems happening, I watched carefully to see if God would deliver me from those fears and provide those things that we needed. Instantly, after making my “faith deposits” to God, I started to see results. The first one was money to cover our room. I actually had to write this one on six times in a row, to cover each day. Every single day, God was faithful to send money to cover our room.
There was one specific day, that I tested whether or not God would answer the details. I asked Him to send the money for the room the night before because I had an appointment in the morning. Sure enough, the money arrived the night before and I was able to complete the transaction before the next day.
Some of the other things that I prayed for was food money. Each day that I needed food money, I would write down in the journal with a date of the need. Then I would write the date that the money came (which was always the same day). So far, everything that we needed was covered, as I let go of the needs and left them with God.
However, today has been a difficult day. God has been showing me that money would show up miraculously to cover our food and our room. I had been checking the mail at the lobby because there was something that was supposed to be coming. Then I found out that the person at the lobby returned it to sender. Although there has been no “seen” movement, I am trying to trust that God is the One who is there to see us in our desperation.
We have had an entire week of documented miracles and I believe this will continue. It may take many tries, but I will continue to write down those needs that we have and give them to God. Last night He kept giving me visions of seeing pennies and nickels and I knew He was telling me that He was watching and would provide. Then today when I went out to the parking lot, I found a random nickel all alone. As I picked it up, He told me again that it would be taken care of.
His intentionality truly calms my fears, because He knows the ways that I look for Him and He meets me there. There is something so remarkable to me that the God of the universe would go out of His way to lead me through the desert experience to see His personal and provisional love. I hope that I will soon have a good report to share with you about the next wonderful thing that He does to save me from every worry.
Thank you, family, for reading these little notes from my heart. I am glad that you are sharing this experience along with me!
Thank you so much for your help!