The past 2 years have felt like I have been suspended in mid-air with my children. In our most vulnerable weakness, the Lord chose to show Himself strong. I have had no way to take care of us, aside from His promise to be our everything. This was His way to show us that He is trustworthy. It was been terrifying at times when I looked down from the heights of His hand. During this time, there have been 2 states and 4 main hotels that God has taken us to.
The first hotel was in Florida, at the Super 8. At that time, my faith was very small and I was constantly trembling with fear. To make the situation even more terrifying, we never had a car. That meant that if we couldn’t afford to cover a night at our room, we would be on the side of the road with all of our belongings, with no place to go.
The fear that gripped my soul during those times of dread, was unbearable. There were times that the fear tried to pull me down all the way to death. When I allowed my mind to follow the path of dread and fear, I found myself wanting to give up on everything.
The same dread was something that I battled at all 4 hotels. Never having a car and helplessly trusting in God to keep holding us up. After staying at Super 8, God gave us an upgrade to stay at a more luxurious hotel. While there in that tropical oasis, I was still suffocating from dread, anytime I would look down from where God was holding us with doubtful thoughts. From the land of palm trees and sunshine, we were moved to Michigan.
We stayed at a hotel in a very sketchy area, known for crime and drugs. Yet the interior of the hotel was wonderful and full of comfort. As if I had not had enough with the dreads, that hotel was scary, because of the dangers outside. Yet through that stay, I learned that it was not the atmosphere that kept us safe, but it was the Lord’s all-powerful presence.
Finally, we arrived at where we are now. It is in Michigan and it is much smaller. There are still many dreads about what we would do if God failed to send us money for our stay. I believe that God has poured out His power through our weak place of not having a car or income, to give us the experience of intentional love.
One thing that I have learned through facing so much dread, over and over again…is that God will always give us the opposite of dread. Not once, through this miraculous experience, has God ever given me over to dread. Day after day, He has always fulfilled my hopes. Hope was always the place where God kept us.
When fear and dread tried to scare me with thoughts of bad outcomes, I have learned that I can trust in hope. Not once, did anything tangible come out of dread. However, hope was always a sturdy anchor to rest on. For me, I am back in a place of needing a miracle to stay where we are, however, Jesus has been encouraging me to remember the power of hope. Hope is stronger than fear. If you are having dreadful thoughts, I recommend turning your thoughts into thoughts of faith and hope.
The other night, God showed me that there were heavy fears hiding like a pack of wolves in a dark forest ready to attack. However, He showed me that when those dreads and fears try to move in, we can prevent the attack by making our hopes even louder. In this encounter, I started to shout my hopes loudly, as decrees of faith. As I shouted out my hopes, those wolves of fears were too intimidated to come after me. How interesting that fear is fearful.
Hope is a powerful weapon when faced with dangerous thoughts of fear. Hope is what can keep us from being pulled down to the grave with bad thoughts of dread. Living by faith is not always a comfortable place. Faith is the place where miracles happen. After all…faith makes us sure of what we hope for and gives us proof of what we cannot see (Hebrews 11:1).
Whatever thoughts that you might be battling right now, I pray that my testimony will give you comfort to know that God will not give you into those dreads. It is just the opposite. You can trust in what you are hoping for and the power of the Lord’s hand to keep holding you up above every fearful outcome. You can count on the opposite of fear.
Your help is cherished, thank you.
So don’t be afraid.
I am here, with you;
don’t be dismayed,
for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, help you.
I am here with My right hand
to make right and to hold you up.