I was not planning to write another faith story today, because I have been working on a new love letter. But something happened last night, and I can feel the Lord moving in my heart. There is something that I need to release in order to receive the next letter, and I am sure there are others like me who need this release. Late last night, I walked to the grocery store. As I was walking, I looked over at this patch of dense forest. Before I was even aware, I found myself thinking about how if God did not keep His promise to keep us from being homeless tomorrow, that we could go take cover in the forest, as a worst-case scenario.
I also realized that I had the same thoughts when we were at the Super 8 in Florida. In that area, there were homeless people all over the place. Whenever I walked to the store for food, I would find myself looking through the tree covered areas, for places that my kids and I could stay, if the Lord let us become homeless. I was taken away with these thoughts, imagining how we could survive in the forest. Just like our situation now, I did not have a vehicle or any person that I could call for help. I was holding onto my last thread of hope. That last thread of hope was connected to a promise that God made me, that we would not be homeless. For me personally, the Lord had told me that we would not be living in a shelter or on the streets. Before we left my mother’s home, the Lord said to me, “I, Myself will make you a home”.
The problem with “looking into the forest” was I was looking into doubt. I was already considering that the Lord was untrustworthy and unfaithful. I had made some very specific prayer requests regarding our hotel payment for tomorrow and I woke up with a check in my spirit that before I could move into the answer to this prayer, that I needed to break my agreement with looking into doubt. There is no halfway point when it comes to living by faith and seeing answered prayer requests. We have to be in or out. We can have what we pray for if we believe without a doubt.
So today, I will admit that I am battling fear once again about our next stay. However, there are two things that need to happen. One is that I need to trust God and His promises to me. Sometimes in order to trust, we just have to make a deliberate choice to trust. It is a loving sacrifice to mentally make, even if we don’t feel it yet. It is about letting go of the fear that was guarding the heart and going all in, despite the risk. The other thing that needs to happen, is I need to turn my eyes away from looking at the forest of doubt. I have to say to myself, “God will not fail to maintain His promise. He has never let us down and He won’t start now. God will do it and I believe it”. The next time when I walk past that forest and a doubtful thought tries to creep into my mind, I need to cast it down and stand strong to trust that the one who called us here is faithful to do just as He has promised.
Thank you for walking with me!
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Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours~ Mark 11:24