The last time that I sat down to write an update, we were preparing to follow Jesus to a new hotel that was in a new town. Since that time, we have arrived. I believe that God has placed us here to begin our journey into medical testimonies for both myself and my daughter, Riley. There was a lot of fear that I had to walk through in order to come to this new place. The new place has much more risk of negative things that can happen if we are not able to pay for our humble little room. However, I remember a quote by Elisabeth Elliot that said that “fear arises when we imagine that everything depends on us”.
Before taking the leap of faith to the new motel, God gave me a dream full of promise. He showed me that this new room would be adjoined to Him. That meant that everything that we needed, He would provide. There were also decorations on the ceiling, that were hung there by cement. The Lord showed me that in this next venture that I would have to keep looking up at His promises to me and fix them in my mind like cement. I should have known at that time that my faith was about to be very deeply tested. The biggest promise that God wanted me to remember was that He would keep us from being homeless and fill My bank account with money from His provisional love through the love gifts from this little blog.
Coming into this new room was like trusting in the dark. Probably the most fascinating part was that we were given the only adjoining room they had. Also, there was a hook for hanging decorations cemented on the ceiling! Only God could have done something so intentional.
During the new stay, there were times when I had no idea what to do for food or how to pay for our room. Once I had to pay for my room in a way that shook my understanding to the core. I had no money in my account. After praying about what to do, I took a huge step of faith and went to the motel lobby to pay. I asked the gentleman to charge me for 5 more nights. As I was asking him to extend our stay, I was trembling with fear inside. I did not understand how God would be able to rescue us this time. Yet to my delight, the card was approved and within a couple of days, the money showed up to cover my debt.
There were other times when I didn’t know how we would eat. But like tossing a few seeds to a sparrow, just enough money would show up at the right time to cover our need to eat. It has been a very hard road of having my fears purged. Everything that I have been clinging to has been fixed on promises in the unseen realm. I have clung to My personal promises from God with a white knuckle grip. If I can be completely honest with you, it has been so painful.
In fact, the pain has been deeper than anything yet that I have endured. Fear is such an awful torment. Even though God has shown up, just as He has said to give us shelter and food, it was so far in such a way that was beyond my understanding because I could never see it coming in the natural. This has been a very humbling time and I have wept for hours from the fears for financial needs. In actuality, we have not suffered one bit. It is the fears that have been so abusive.
This has been a time of learning deeper trust and reliance on Jesus. God made me promises, but I had to believe despite everything that I could see. The word of God has to be put into action and faith tested first. I believe that what is ahead will far outweigh the difficulties on this road. God bless you always and thank you for your faithfulness to love us through this journey of obedience and faith living adventures.
With love and gratitude,