Do not be afraid–I am with you! I am your God–let nothing terrify you! I will make you strong and help you; I will protect you and save you.
When the Lord was preparing me to take the jump of faith and book a hotel room, one of the hardest borders to cross was before I finally made the move. It started about 3 months prior to when we actually left. With bits and pieces, Holy Spirit started to speak to me about leaving the comfort zone of my mothers home. He sent me so much comfort and confirmation to help me to stand strong amidst the strong winds of fear. There was one very specific way that the Lord helped me to make the move that I would like to share with you today.
The situation at the home started to change. Not only was God preparing my heart to take the biggest trust fall of my life and leave the comforts of a home, but the Lord was also preparing my mother. Holy Spirit kept showing my mother eagles and He had confirmed with her that He wanted her to have me leave so that I could learn to fly by faith. To fly by faith is be completely held up by faith, in a place of living supernaturally on the promises of God. It was time that I put my faith into action. I had reached a time where life and death depended on what I believed.
When it is time for a baby bird to learn the fly, the parent must help the bird to leave the nest. The parent of the baby will start to leave the food farther and farther away from the baby, to help the baby to come away from his comfort zone and assert more independence. At times the parent bird will start to use sticks to poke the baby to cause the baby to become so uncomfortable, that the baby wants to go. The parent bird will even go as far as to push the baby out of the nest. In that moment of falling speedily to the ground, the baby must choose to flap his little wings in order to fly and save himself.
This is exactly what was happening to me, prior to my leap of faith. The pressure and tension started to pick up in the house and my mom expressed her desire for us to go, as she shared with me what the Lord had been telling her. She kept saying that I was going to soar like an eagle. Honestly, at first, I was hurt and very afraid. But the tender mercies of the Lord worked within Me to mature His plans into My heart to the point that I was eager and happy about leaving.
My mother had given me a deadline to when I had to be gone from her house and the heat of pressure intensified rapidly. Not only was I faced with the pressure of having to find a place for my children and myself to go, but I was battling the most intense fears of my life. There were so many fears of “what if” running through my brain. “what if we end up on the streets?”, “what if my kids are taken from me?”, and so many more “what if’s…”. This was when the most crucial choice had to be made. I could either continue to entertain these fears of the future, or I could choose to have the courage to trust and be confident in Jesus to take care of us.
The anxieties upon my chest were so heavy, that it was a struggle to breathe. I got to the place where I was so deathly afraid of hurting my children through this decision that I laid on the floor and wailed the deepest cries of anguish for an entire day. Hours and hours I laid upon the floor and cried the from the complete depths of my soul. My soul was in so much pain that it was completely unbearable. Eventually, I cried myself to sleep and that night the Holy Spirit danced promises of provision and protection over me in the most Heavenly dreams. The next day, I woke up encouraged and ready to trust Jesus with the lives of my kids. You see, I did not care what happened to me, however, to trust God with the dependence of my children was the most heartbreaking and emotional choice of my life.
Much like Abraham, I had to offer up my children on the altar to God. I had to choose that I would trust in God’s promises, no matter what. So it was time. I told the Lord that if He truly wants us to go, to send me enough money to book 5 days at a hotel. Within minutes, I received a phone call that offered me the money that I had asked the Lord for. Obediently, I then made the reservation at the hotel and we left the comforts of a home. Like a baby bird, the Lord used the outside pressure to help me want to leave the nest. Tension and discomfort are always an indication of approaching change. If you are suffering either, then be expectant for something new and good to soon show up!
Now it was time to trust fall to fly. One thing that I learned through this is that no decision to trust Jesus in absolute faith will ever fail to yield wonder and amazement. Just before our 5 nights at a hotel were over, more money would miraculously show up for us as a donation to our website. This cycle went on for days, and then weeks and now months. I still have to battle these fears of being away from any sort of comfort zone.
Like a baby bird, I have learned to fly supernaturally by faith. I can tell you that it was not some super strong faith that brought me this far. Nor was it my thunderous courage that moved us along. No…I only chose to trust Jesus with my life and the lives of my children. Quite honestly trusting God is my only option to survive. I am a person who battles worry and fear, but I have learned how to hand it all over to God as I ask Him for help. Every time that I choose to trust Jesus, I end up with a new experience of finding out more of His intentional faithfulness for myself.
Living by faith means to live trusting who Jesus is for you and to truly choose to believe His words. He is here with you today. He is here extending His hand and asking you to trust Him and to follow His steps. He is the One who loves you too much to ever let go. When He says that He will do something, you can trust that He will do exactly what He said. He wants to show you His love in a deeply personal way. In order to really do that, you must make the choice to trust Him in that place away from comfort zones. My prayer for you today is that He will help you to trust Him and that you will lay each and every worrisome fear into His hands. I hope that you will fly as you follow the beloved voice of your Chief Shepherd King.
God bless you so much~
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