Heart Beat Again

I felt much like Dorothy Gale from Kansas. The whirling tempest came into my life. The winds beat upon my house and the waves crashed over me. The storm had tossed debris all over the place, nothing was where it used to be. I was lost, confused and wanting to go home.


There was a loss, a pain unexpected came upon me. What I had lost was more priceless and precious to me than the dreams that I had been holding onto. I was in a deep, deep valley of sinking pain. Nothing mattered to me anymore, as I walked aimlessly through life. It felt like I had been hit by a semi truck, I was in shock and in trauma in my soul.


It felt like someone had taken a scalpel and cut deep into my heart. I was like a rose, with blood-stained tears rolling down from my eyes. In that time, of searching for hope, I realized that when we lose so deeply, nothing in this world can ever help. Even the prophetic words that I held so dear, could not soothe this sort of pain. 


In that twisted storm of pain and loss, it felt like my heart stopped beating. As I wandered, stunned and struck, I felt a burning ember in my heart. At that moment, I looked up and it hit me! There is nothing, not life, nor death, nor angels, nor demons, nor things present or things to come…nothing that can separate me from the love of Jesus.


My breathing started to quicken, my heart began to leap! In that moment, I fell in love again with my King. Even in the deepest pain, there is One who I will never lose. There is One who is trustworthy and true. He is Jesus. My life became His to keep. It was too much pain for me anyways. 


He is my foundation, the rock on which I have built my house. He is stable and He has never left, not even now. It was as if He heard the calls of Hope singing in my heart. Jesus came close. I took my very costly alabaster jar of oils. The bitterness and the sweet of my entire being. It was the oils of Spikenard, meaning, “TRUSTWORTHY”. 


So I poured my life over Him, as an offering of complete trust. There was no deeper love than this. He is filling my every loss with His LOVE. It was as though I became one with Him. Every blessing of Jesus was also mine to keep. Out of His riches, He would supply all of my needs. 


As I looked into His eyes, I was lifted away from this world and into the deepest worship that my heart ever knew. He brought me up into His Kingdom. I set my eyes on things above, there was no longer any need to look below. In my life, I have lost everything and many people that I loved. Yet I have found that it was in that storm that was sent to destroy my faith and take me down, was where my heart was filled with the vehement love flame of JESUS, and waters of His healing Love.


My heart survived the storm because it was built upon the rock of Jesus. Those who do not build their homes upon Jesus have built their homes upon the sand. When the waves crash against it and the winds lash with great fury, all they have will surely fall away.


At the end of myself, He awakened me. In the deepest pain, His love was all that remained. I poured my life over Jesus, an anointing oil of fragrant perfume. I pour out my tears and pain. I pour out my hopes and dreams. All of myself I gave unto Him, an offering to my King.


When my heart could no longer beat, and my hopes were almost gone. The love of Jesus came rushing, a love stronger than death. In that abusive storm, I found out that the center of my heart was Jesus. He is the core and the center of it all. There is nothing, nothing that can take His love away.


From the deepest pain, will come the most beautiful love that anyone could ever know. Jesus is close to the broken hearts, He is the lover of our souls.


“For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 8:38-39


Written by Dannette Lynn

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